- Tales of a loner ♥ ;

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Everyone have their own stress.
But every stress is different.
Everyone would say their stress is the worst.
But stress cannot be compared in any way or another.
Every stress brings a different kind of pain.
But doesnt mean it can be compared either.
So, in conclusion. everyone's stress is the worst pain ever.
Do not be lame in comparing stress levels.
Because you wont know how someone is enduring the stress they are having.
You will never know.

I wish to sob; but no tears are formed.
I wish to sleep; but nightmares haunt me.
I wish to laugh; but giggles couldn't come out.
I wish to be emotionless; but that is not me.

Tears to shed the sadness of a person.
When will the river of sadness end?

Friends.. friends.. are they fit to be labeled as one?
So many friends of mine out there, only a few are my true friends.
The rest are all just devils, trying to hurt me mentally.
I am mentally tortured.
I tend to think too much.
I wish to stop it but;
It's just my nature.

Star light, star bright, I wish to make a wish upon the stars tonight.
Grant me a life full of joy discarding the sorrows which constantly make my tears being shed.

Going to bed.. Nights

♥ Silent Tears
What has been written ♥ ;
『5/26/2009 01:32:00 AM』

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Ugh.. i've been so busy with the DotA tournament which i was unintentionally became the organizer of it... and so many assignments are up.. I'll post further details about this scum after everything is over.. As for now i am stressed and also tired.. Slept like 2 hours yesterday because i was thinking too much lol..

Further information will be posted up as soon as im out of these problems..

See yaz..

♥ Silent Tears
What has been written ♥ ;
『5/20/2009 08:48:00 PM』

Friday, May 15, 2009

How would one feel when something which they are really good at it in the past they arent anymore in the present..

The lost of something which is priceless is really a pain..

I hope missy is alright with her lost of her precious dog ><

The total lost of passion into something..

Nights x)

♥ Silent Tears
What has been written ♥ ;
『5/15/2009 10:40:00 PM』

Some dreams are not supposed to come true~
Some wishes are not supposed to be granted~
So many doubts..

Nites :D

♥ Silent Tears
What has been written ♥ ;
『5/15/2009 01:35:00 AM』

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

I had almost to near completion of lost of passion on games. Some of my friends just ruin the mood and passion of mine to continue games. They just have to ruin everything~ More over~ They are once under me in a certain way when they are intro-ed to a new thing. When they are better than me and had wings to fly. All the past has been forgotten and also being proud for what they had achieved making me feel left out..?

Some precious efforts which i've placed into certain personnal interests on mine on a game is just a waste of time, effort and money as somehow my hardwork is just a waste when my account was being suspended for no reason at all. Thats thanks to the great work of asiasoft. =)

Picking up stress from games instead of enjoying them; Am i silly or what? Being upset because of something which occured in the virtual world; Being depressed because of losing something in the virtual world.. Comparing it in real life, it's really a silly thing to do..

Well my lost on interests on games is a good thing.. Good in a way which i could focus more on my real life issues and also studies to catch up. Yet i still envy the old skills which i had on gaming which i had lost for some time ago~ =/

2 roads diverged from a road.. Which to choose.. which not to choose..?

But from what i know, im already on the path which games are just a side part of my life not anymore as a big factor in my life like last time. Maybe that's the new me =)

Crossed out the unachievable wish in my wishlist and added one new wishlist =)

Will be blogging again soon Nites :D

♥ Silent Tears
What has been written ♥ ;
『5/13/2009 01:58:00 AM』

Monday, May 11, 2009

For those who believe what that guy said so, please get the hell out of my sight.

Don't come and join up with him to make my life miserable fuck off please.

I dont need anymore friends like this; I rather stay being alone with my family and also my kor.

♥ Silent Tears
What has been written ♥ ;
『5/11/2009 01:06:00 PM』

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Was declared a backstabber by a virtual / yet-to-be real life friend~

Here's what he said:-

To all my friends, I m having a New Life on my own right now. The details in private but I don't think I can online much so often to see u guys, I might change my email very soon, but will let "You" know once I change, for those whom doesn't receive my new add. It's an end to our Friendship. I won't mention names, I had enough of back-stabbing behind and lies all over the wall!

I asked him what happened? He just asked me to ask myself and just deleted me off from his msn list. What the..?

After i asked my friend who has his msn contact list, he sent another notice to them:-

dont be mad after seeing this msg
To all Apiit Friends that has been wit me, new email is rei4@live.com Please Do Not Give to Alex! If I found out he add me in new email and He told me who gave to him.. I'll terminate the friendship of that person.. My life is really very fkdup right now.. So If you u still take me as ur fren, I thank u if not, I wont force u.
yah so dont add him

FYI.. Like i will ever add you in my msn list again

Childish much?

First of all; Think before you talk or spread rumours about me. I never talk a single shit about you and also never even lay a single finger in your life. You ruin your own and don't come and point all the fingers to me that i ruin your life and i backstab you. Please check the word backstab before using it on me and stop being fking childish on spreading these accusations on me. Thank You.

For those who know who i am; Please evaluate me nicely before reading those messages.

Bloody pissed for being accused for no reason at all..

Having my driving exam tommorow.. Wish me luck =)

♥ Silent Tears
What has been written ♥ ;
『5/10/2009 11:15:00 PM』

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Why am i feeling so restless and can't stop thinking of things..
Why do i feel the unwanted stress around me..
What is really going to happen..
Who knows..
Will continue my earlier blogpost some time tommorow when im in the right mood..
Nights..

♥ Silent Tears
What has been written ♥ ;
『5/09/2009 11:40:00 PM』

Monday, May 4, 2009

Okay~ Let's get starting with my MAIN topic today x)

Hmm~! Classmates has been a big question of mine. Arent the sweet memories of the togetherness be kept on for as long as we live for? Why am i left out in the usual classmate group which im in. Am i to be forgotten because im not worth to be remembered for? It doesn't matter anymore as im just happy for you all which are still together in one group and im just another stranger in the public.

Was still thinking what ever had i done wrong in the past. As i figure out we're quite closely knit together but why am i left out at present? Something which i am now does not please either one of the friends in the group or all of them just hate me?

Making up excuses to not let me join in is just so not nice. I know im sensitive but i can sense that my presence is just not welcomed there..

If there's any disatisfaction about me say it out.. Don't give me hints of avoiding me or giving me the unpleasent feeling. It hurts you know..

Just this one question in my mind now and then.. Are you really my friend?

I think alot especially when something happens i just happen to be thinking alot. Sometimes it results in huring myself for unecessary reasons and doubts. Tend to make myself miserable too..

Just don't get it sometimes. Why i feel life so boring sometimes. Everything bores me.. Friends not responding to me~ Busy brother which disappears now and then xD

More to talk about this tommrow i just dont have the mood to write anymore..

Nites..

♥ Silent Tears
What has been written ♥ ;
『5/04/2009 10:50:00 PM』

Sunday, May 3, 2009

On friday, i went back to my hometown~ It's because it's a public holiday and my grandma came back from england~! Oh i missed her (: Missed her cookings, he presence and the drama between my grandma and my aunt >.>"

Anyways, it was labour day! Everyone had planned for an outing as mother's day is near and there are 3 days of holiday straight~ So most of my friends are filled with activities. I myself as usual had no other activities then staying home growing roots as long as ginseng! Was planning to reformat my screwed up computer but my father decided to go back to his hometown to visit my grandma.

My father's attitude always makes me pissed especially when it comes to going back hometown.. He doesn't have the patience and he just wants us to wake up as early as possible get everything done and get back to hometown asap. Well this is normal although it pisses me off..

Ah well! the main thing i'm gonna talk about today is about the village life of a teenager~

Every festive moments i can see a gropu of friends hanging out together visiting houses and eventually even goes out and have fun together. It's so rare to see them over at my side or maye only me which no friends ever did that together with me. The feeling of it is so joyful. I just can't describe my desire to be in a group like that. Don't know when that day will come.

Even from time to time friends will come and find you and visit you just for the fun of it and eventually asks you out for a tea just for the sake of being friends. They do practise those actions in the village. I really envy what they are doing. In my side, asking my friends for a tea or visit me also its practically impossible. They are like super busy sales person who has tonnes of new friends being busy with them and just leaving the old friends behind.

Going out to some events with friends is also one of te very common things they do in the village. It's fun to have fun with a group of friends in a certain event. In the city, events are rare to occur and even so, i would'nt have trasport to reach there nor friends to join in. It's either way vice versa.

I'll talk about another topic tommorow.. Don't feel like starting this topic today.. Nites.

♥ Silent Tears
What has been written ♥ ;
『5/03/2009 11:31:00 PM』

Disclaimer ♥

Seasons of emotions ♥

The loner ♥

Wish upon a star ★

Music Box ♥

Pour it out ♥

Buddies ♥

Faded Memories ♥

Gratitudes ♥