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Seasons of emotions ♥
♥ Emo-ish blog posts are normally blue
♥ Happy blog posts are normally green
♥ Angry or disatisfaction blog posts are normally red
♥ Yellow blog posts are normally made as notices or notes or quotes
♥ *Effective from 6th February '09 onwards
The loner ♥
Name » Alex
Age » 19 ('10)
Status » Single
Gender » Male ♂
Birth Date » 20 / 07 / 91
Constellation » Cancer
Chinese Zodiac » Goat
♥ Emotional
♥ Sensitive
♥ Sensible
Wish upon a star ★
[ ] A joyful life ♥
[ ] Stop being moody ♥
[ ] A better appearance ♥
[ ] Excel in my studies ♥
[ ] Life would be meaningful ♥
[ ] Lead a better life ♥
[ ] Wouldn't be lonely ♥
My mum was talking to her 'kai ma', foster mum about our bitter past when we were in our grandmother's house living with a pschotic aunty of mine which anyhow gets us in trouble and even called us strangers.. When i flash back on those days.. My mum, dad and uncle really suffered a terrible strech of days for 2 years.. I was accused for something which i have not done.. but yet i was still blammed and scolded for no reason at all because of that particular aunty's words. Her life is full of sin.. So is her husband which is another uncle which i hate.. He always looks down on me and also thinks that my mum never educate me well.. So.. the past 2 years with them.. is really a torture..
Then my mum mentioned about my dad which was going to pension soon.. exactly 3 years from now.. She was going to be so worried how would it be then when i don't have enough income to furthur my studies and my sis which is still in school.. He wanted to work as a security guard to earn for a living.. but he simply doesn't have the stamina to do so and it's dangerous to be a security guard as anything might just happen.. He wanted to be a school van driver.. but his eye wouldn't allow him to do so.. The only hope left is on me.. which is to study harder and then get a job and earn for a living for the family..
However.. I couldn't really show that i can do it.. Too many things for me to handle.. My parents would use me to compare with the others which could really take care of the family.. but i felt that im really useless.. I've been trying very hard to study.. I still remember last time.. I studied so hard for my Physics test.. Yet, after getting my paper.. i collapsed and cried in front of the class.. I just felt very sad after how many times i've tried yet i still failed.. So.. my SPM results arent any better.. my mum will always envy with those who can really excel.. but not her own son.. I'm also trying really hard to maintain my scholarships.. I've sacrifised alot for that as well.. I even nearlly stopped all the games i've played now and only concentrate on books.. Yet a part of me still felt very sad.. Sigh..
My mum always say.. Someday we will live happily and easily without financial worries.. I am looking foward to the day it comes and my parents are still alive and healthy ;/...
♥ Silent Tears
What has been written ♥ ;
『3/03/2009 12:51:00 PM』
