Monday, March 30, 2009
"Cherish what you have now, before you lose its too late". A personal message adapted from my friend's personal message. It definately suits my uncle, which does not appreciate what is in front of him and yet, he is still doing the things which he thinks it's right for him to so.. Everything is going to fall apart in front of him soon. Yet, there is no sign of regret from him. Every family member of his is worried sick about him. He just didn't realise that we really care about him..
Overheard of alot of things. Recently there are just too many family problems happened. My father is just taking the pressure of my uncle too seriously until he is sick now and couldn't really sleep. Not only my father actually. There are others who are about the same too. Seeing my father in such condition, i feel the same way of being sad too. Just don't know what to say to calm him, but my mum kept on trying to ask him to leave this matter aside. I'm just so worried he would just be spacing out while driving or working and certain unwanted accident happens.. His temper is getting worse due to this incident and yet he still doesn' t want to leave this aside even for a moment. He is constantly spaking of this matter. A matter which i couldn't be involved in.
Some things just couldn't be placed in words. Only through sight or certain incidents that will really trigger him or make him to wake up.. My aunt was saying all those regrets of her marrying with him and such, after hearing them.. i just feel so sad for her and my mum is having the sour heart too.. She said she already had initial plans to divorce and bring he kids together with her to work and earn a living by herself.. I just really hope he would really wake up before something really happens.. A broken family is the worst thing in the kid's life and also future.
I just don't know what to do...
So, please enlighten yourself and try and find out who is actually caring about you and always there when ever you need them to give you strength, love and support. If you found them, lock them tight and do not let them go. Cheerish all he moments with them without regrets nor sorrows because its not worth missing any one of them because it's not easy to find such type of person in this current world anymore. Do not regret after taking such actions that would really destroy the hearts of those who care about you and regret after they leave your side. And for that, you will be regret for a very long time.
I really AM cheerishing all my moments with my parents, brother, family members and friends. Every single minute of it counts. No matter how hard we could get along in things sometimes. No matter how much i hate them or even feel sad about them, deep down i do care about them. I am cheerishing all the remaining ones i have left, couldn't lose anymore or even one away from me. Not sure what would be coming on to me in the future but im still trying to smile all the way till the end no matter how much it hurts =D
My brother called me just right after a sms o.o" I not good in sudden calls. Don't know what to talk haha. He asked me about the task he handed on me to do. I finished and i just said ok and end the conversation ._." LAME ME xD
I am proud to say that i've given up alot of things because i find that it's unnecessary. I've given up 3/4 of my gaming time to fill with something else.. Well, still trying to fill up with something meaningful though. Disallowing myself to step into cybercafes anymore. Controlling the amount of my money usage and also cutting down costs on my food expenses =D Thats alot of work. Still trying to keep my smile on no matter wha happens.
Until the day when i couldn't smile.. That would be a big problem..
Cut my hair, nobody realised. This is weird. LOL.
Just been sleeping everytime whenever im free. It's just like im having lack of sleep. Sometimes eventhough im so sleepy, when im in my bedroom, i just couldn't sleep. Sigh.. I think that's all i have to say today. Nitez.
Overheard of alot of things. Recently there are just too many family problems happened. My father is just taking the pressure of my uncle too seriously until he is sick now and couldn't really sleep. Not only my father actually. There are others who are about the same too. Seeing my father in such condition, i feel the same way of being sad too. Just don't know what to say to calm him, but my mum kept on trying to ask him to leave this matter aside. I'm just so worried he would just be spacing out while driving or working and certain unwanted accident happens.. His temper is getting worse due to this incident and yet he still doesn' t want to leave this aside even for a moment. He is constantly spaking of this matter. A matter which i couldn't be involved in.
Some things just couldn't be placed in words. Only through sight or certain incidents that will really trigger him or make him to wake up.. My aunt was saying all those regrets of her marrying with him and such, after hearing them.. i just feel so sad for her and my mum is having the sour heart too.. She said she already had initial plans to divorce and bring he kids together with her to work and earn a living by herself.. I just really hope he would really wake up before something really happens.. A broken family is the worst thing in the kid's life and also future.
I just don't know what to do...
So, please enlighten yourself and try and find out who is actually caring about you and always there when ever you need them to give you strength, love and support. If you found them, lock them tight and do not let them go. Cheerish all he moments with them without regrets nor sorrows because its not worth missing any one of them because it's not easy to find such type of person in this current world anymore. Do not regret after taking such actions that would really destroy the hearts of those who care about you and regret after they leave your side. And for that, you will be regret for a very long time.
I really AM cheerishing all my moments with my parents, brother, family members and friends. Every single minute of it counts. No matter how hard we could get along in things sometimes. No matter how much i hate them or even feel sad about them, deep down i do care about them. I am cheerishing all the remaining ones i have left, couldn't lose anymore or even one away from me. Not sure what would be coming on to me in the future but im still trying to smile all the way till the end no matter how much it hurts =D
My brother called me just right after a sms o.o" I not good in sudden calls. Don't know what to talk haha. He asked me about the task he handed on me to do. I finished and i just said ok and end the conversation ._." LAME ME xD
I am proud to say that i've given up alot of things because i find that it's unnecessary. I've given up 3/4 of my gaming time to fill with something else.. Well, still trying to fill up with something meaningful though. Disallowing myself to step into cybercafes anymore. Controlling the amount of my money usage and also cutting down costs on my food expenses =D Thats alot of work. Still trying to keep my smile on no matter wha happens.
Until the day when i couldn't smile.. That would be a big problem..
Cut my hair, nobody realised. This is weird. LOL.
Just been sleeping everytime whenever im free. It's just like im having lack of sleep. Sometimes eventhough im so sleepy, when im in my bedroom, i just couldn't sleep. Sigh.. I think that's all i have to say today. Nitez.
♥ Silent Tears
What has been written ♥ ;
『3/30/2009 11:50:00 PM』
What has been written ♥ ;
『3/30/2009 11:50:00 PM』
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Every morning when i wake up, i approach the computer and i asked myself. What should i do today. It seems that i'm just out of things to do already that is actually interesting for me to continue on it.
When i want to talk to someone, i just pmed them but no replies. Either they are not replying or they are just busy and not replying. Sometimes i just waited until they are finally in the "available status" so i can actually pm them and chat with them but sometimes they are also just not enteraining me. Even sometimes i waited until the status is finally available and i wanted to talk to them and before i knew it they are either way or just went offline. ... (These are just in msn)
Is it that hard to find someone to talk with? Sometimes when im in a chat, i don't know whether he / she is busy with something or not yet i still continue. So sometimes when they just didn't reply for a preety long time.. i just come up with an excuse or just mention that i don't want to bother them anymore. Thats the only possible thing i could do. So most of the time, i'll just try not to contact or bother them eventhough i really really bored and had nothing much to do. So, i'll just stare at my screen and just find something to do. If i ever receive some of them which pmed me who i really want to talk to, i would be so happy but most of the conversations end up with just a few lines and we eventually stopped talking already so.. it's kinda sad that we couldn't talk much. It seems as though they are not interested in talking with me or just entertaining me for some time and just get an excuse to not talk to me anymore.
Sweet words that are just a temporary effect to make me happy is not going to make me happy because they normally ends up in a disappointment. Please do not agree in doing something and / or helping me out with something when you are not capable of doing so and / or some promises or statements to prove that they are capable of doing certain actions. Instead you can just say you cant help me / Clarify that you are unable to do such action or not tell it out at all, i will happily accept it. =)
Things are not like it used to be anymore. It's just turning into a very boring life of mine. Don't know when it'll be any better.
Always hoping for the best ^^
When i want to talk to someone, i just pmed them but no replies. Either they are not replying or they are just busy and not replying. Sometimes i just waited until they are finally in the "available status" so i can actually pm them and chat with them but sometimes they are also just not enteraining me. Even sometimes i waited until the status is finally available and i wanted to talk to them and before i knew it they are either way or just went offline. ... (These are just in msn)
Is it that hard to find someone to talk with? Sometimes when im in a chat, i don't know whether he / she is busy with something or not yet i still continue. So sometimes when they just didn't reply for a preety long time.. i just come up with an excuse or just mention that i don't want to bother them anymore. Thats the only possible thing i could do. So most of the time, i'll just try not to contact or bother them eventhough i really really bored and had nothing much to do. So, i'll just stare at my screen and just find something to do. If i ever receive some of them which pmed me who i really want to talk to, i would be so happy but most of the conversations end up with just a few lines and we eventually stopped talking already so.. it's kinda sad that we couldn't talk much. It seems as though they are not interested in talking with me or just entertaining me for some time and just get an excuse to not talk to me anymore.
Sweet words that are just a temporary effect to make me happy is not going to make me happy because they normally ends up in a disappointment. Please do not agree in doing something and / or helping me out with something when you are not capable of doing so and / or some promises or statements to prove that they are capable of doing certain actions. Instead you can just say you cant help me / Clarify that you are unable to do such action or not tell it out at all, i will happily accept it. =)
Things are not like it used to be anymore. It's just turning into a very boring life of mine. Don't know when it'll be any better.
Always hoping for the best ^^
♥ Silent Tears
What has been written ♥ ;
『3/25/2009 10:08:00 PM』
What has been written ♥ ;
『3/25/2009 10:08:00 PM』
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
It's just really sad and angry at the same time when someone just pushes all the blame to you when he's actually the one which is on the fault. Then again, he is just not forgetting about this. He is constantly biting on the victim, not letting it go. What the hell did i ever do to him? Everytime we are there to discuss on the main point, he will just redirec us to another topic. the same DAMN TOPIC OVER AND OVER AGAIN EVENTHOUGH NO DISCUSSION IS NEEDED. WTF? We are constantly hinting him on the main topic and the past topic should just be dropped off but he just cant let the DAMN TOPIC GO.
Okay~ Let me start from the root of ths problem. From the begining of the revival of our dead clud IT Student Association (ITSA), we planned a trip as requested from the lecturers as well as our ex IT Students. So majority wants to go to langkawi. We planned a trip to langkawi then and we are coming up with the dates and such. So after the dates are fixed, we are now hading into the selection of packages to langkawi and also to make sure we fulfil the requirements of the ones who are going.
After a week from the meeting date, we re-meet again and there was 2 quotation pckages regarding the langkawi trip. At first we talked about the first package, it seemed quite expensive. So we looked at the second package, it seemed cheap and quite promising. Then the PERSON began to talk. Saying that it's expensive, we should look for more quotations and such. Then one by one started to find their own quotations and stand at their own point of view.
This is when the plans gets worse, 3 weeks have been wasted on the selectin of packages yet none is selected as everyone has their own stand and opinion of packages. I missed one very important meeting where the PERSON began to alter the brains of the others saying that his package was cheap and such. At first glance it seemed acceptable.
But the details in it are not even finalized and blur. I decided to ask a number to find out furthur information regarding the package which he was introducing to us and also forcefully asking us to accept it and also hinting us in many ways that the packag is good. So, somehow his quotation about the package is not clear at all. They even called the agency before me as im not there to look around. So it turns out that the information they requested from the agency, they couldn't provide us with an answer. So i decided to call for the second time to dig furthur information and also the finalized price.
At first, the number given was a lady, i explained that im his student and i have some enquiries about the package. She didn't answer me at all and straight away asked me to dial another number to call another person in charged for furthur information. I called the other number. He picked up, and i started asking questions relating to this package of his.
Every question i ask, he would either say we will arrange on that or don't worry everything can be arranged and it's flexible. WHAT THE HELL? WHATS THE POINT OF CALLING YOU FOR AN ENQUIRY IF YOU CANT GIVE US A DEFINATE ANSWER ON THE PACKAGE THAT WE ARE ABOUT TO TAKE THAT WE HAVE NO CLUE WHAT IS IN IT AND WHAT IS OFFERING US. HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO PROMOTE OUR TRIP WHEN WE HAVE NO FKING INFORMATION ABOUT THE TRIP DETAILS. EVEN THE PRICES ARE NOT COFIRMED. HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO COME OUT WITH THE FINALIZED PRICE AND SUBMIT OUR PROROSAL FOR APPROVAL?!
I'm just fking pissed talking to the agency guy. He finally couldn't answer me and make up and excuse to say that he's driving and he'll call me 3 days after. HELLOOOOO? WE ARE SHORT O TIME AND WE NEED A DEFINATE ANSWER FROM YOU! WHAT THE HELL IS WITH THE DELAY? So i told him we are out of time and we need to fialize in 3 days time. He said okay and he would call on the next day in the morning.
So i waited. In the end he didn't call at all. So we had completely given up on him and just grab another package just to save our damned time waiting for that fked up agency that wasted a few weeks of our plans already. We got everything ready and we are now under the final phase to complete everything.
We meet up the tour guide asked some questions and we're so guilty for that which we are holding the reservation list eventhough its already over the final day of reservation the kind tour guide still holds it on for us. So we finally finalize up and about to tell that PERSON that we are not taking his package anymore and we are heading to another package. Before that, we are also having another problem. We only had one week left to find 30 people to join the trip. HOW THE HELL ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DIG OUT 30 PEOPLE TO JOIN THE TRIP IN SUCH A SHORT NOTICE?
So we are about to give up on the langkawi package already. We walked up to tell that PERSON about the cancelation of the package he offered. He started asking tonnes of questions and start to compare the package details already. We said since the agency never bother to call me, we didn't had much time so we just took another package and move on. He showed the frigging face to us and a disatisfaction aura.
By the way, in such a cheap package do you believe that we are actually goin to stay on a seperate island which is rated 4 stars and its inconvinient focus to do another. And the tours are not promising. Besides, i even asked the agency about the hotel details. They dare not even tell us about the details. I guess it's not that hotel anymore. And the person incharged is that PERSON'S FRIEND so i guess if he offer us this package most probably they will both gain commision or something.
Ok, so we told him that we are not taking his package, he is still bragging the benefits of his package until we dig out of an excuse on ditching him to continue our training class. So we went into class started thinking about the amount of time left and the people who are currently confirmed on joining the trip. Out of 14 written in the list, 5 on hold and 1 canceled and the pre-requisite is to have at least 10 of them confirmed and to pay the deposite of rm100 to get hold of the reservation. So after much thought, we decided to cancel it and thought up of a way to tell him that we're canceling the trip.
So the next day, which is today. We went and tell him about the cancelation of the package and also the trip to langkawi. The first thing he said was "It was your fault for delaying the trips and dunno find so many quotations and dragging the time" "I already came up with ym quotation last friday" HELLOO? WE ALREADY HAVE THIS QUOTATION 3 WEEKS AGO!! 3 WEEKS! YOURS IS LAST WEEK. US YOUR SENSE OF LOGIC AND TELL ME HOW MANY WEEK HAVE YOU BEEN DELAYING AND ALSO WHAT THE **** ARE YOU PUTTING ON THE BLAMEON ME WHEN IT'S PURELY YOUR FAULT FOR SAYING THAT "Oh we should find more quotations and compare the price before deciding" EXACTY WHO THE **** STARTED THAT TELL ME PLEASE.
After he insulted me, i felt pissed and just alked out of his office nd he continues his story again with his shitty packages and his bloody benefits. He is wasting unnecessary time and money just to find out more about the package when we are not interested in his at all in the first place and it's not clearly described. We are stessing on the point that we are canceling the trip and postpond it t other days but he interupted us and continue his ****ed up story about the benefits of his package and kept on saying that im wasting all our time and it's all my fault on it and he starts to push all the blames to the other one by one. WHAT THE ****! YOU ARE THE SOURCE OF EVERYTHING WHICH HAPPENED. YOU SHOULD JUST SHUT THE HELL UP AND ACCEPT THAT YOUR PACKAGE ISN'T CLEAR AND SATISFYING. WHY WITH THE CONSTANT TOPIC O THE ADVANTAGE OF YOUR PACKAGE? YOU WILL GET EXTRA COMMISION AND YOU WILL BENEFIT YOUR FRIEND ALSO IS IT? YOUR FRIGGING FRIEND DOESNT EVEN CALL ME WHICH HE WAS SUPPOSED TO. SO THAT MEANS HE HAS NO INTEREST ON DEALING A BUSNIESS WITH US AND HE IS NOT SERIOUS ABOUT IT.
We told him about the matter which he didnt call us in the first place and so we choosed another package and we didn't take yours. Then he said, why didn't you call him back. I wasn't there. I went out after i was blammed at and the others are all told by those who are inside listening to his lame stories which are practically pointless telling them over and over again. So they are speechless because they couldn't answer him why they didn't call the agency back (they = me) Then he blamed them as well for not calling the other lecturer to call the agency about this. HELLO? FIRST OF ALL, SHE HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS. SECOND OF ALL, HE SHOULD CALL US NOT US CALLING HIM AS WE'RE DOING AS BUSINESS WITH HIM. I ALREADY TOLD HIM WE DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME LEFT SO PLEASE MAKE IT FAST AND HE AGRED ON CALLING ME THE NEXT DAY AND HE DIDN'T SO IT'S HIS LOST FOR NOT CALLING US.
Overall he is not letting this trip to go away like this and he is still not done with his fked up stories and constantly bragging about it. Since he wanted to make this trip to be 'successful' so much i'll let him be. My friend (the president) said there will be another meeting for the trip date reallocation. I AM DEFINATELY NOT GOING TO THAT MEETING ANYMORE BEFORE HIS FKED UP MOUTH COME AND START AGAIN. BESIDES HE'S BEEN LIKE OBJECTNG EVERYTHING I SUGGESTED ALMOST EVERY MEETING AND MADE MY SUGGESTIONS LIKE JOKES EVENTHOUGH IM SO SERIOUS ABOUT CONTRIBTING THINGS INTO MY CLUB. HE IS ALSO THE ONE WHO JOKED AROUND NOT BEING SERIOUS IN THE MEETING LIKE HE IS ATTRACTING ATTENTION.
So.. Im fked up now and somehow im just feeling depressed about this matter. I wonder if he would just hold a grudge and just fail my papers and give me problems during his class. ou'll never know hat these kind of people could do. But definately one day when he does that i would definately argue with him.
Oh yea surprised with this colour? It's a combination of anger and sadness which clearly means red text + blue text = purple :D
That is all for today. I couldn't find a suitable person which is free to talk to again so blog is my best option geez.
Okay~ Let me start from the root of ths problem. From the begining of the revival of our dead clud IT Student Association (ITSA), we planned a trip as requested from the lecturers as well as our ex IT Students. So majority wants to go to langkawi. We planned a trip to langkawi then and we are coming up with the dates and such. So after the dates are fixed, we are now hading into the selection of packages to langkawi and also to make sure we fulfil the requirements of the ones who are going.
After a week from the meeting date, we re-meet again and there was 2 quotation pckages regarding the langkawi trip. At first we talked about the first package, it seemed quite expensive. So we looked at the second package, it seemed cheap and quite promising. Then the PERSON began to talk. Saying that it's expensive, we should look for more quotations and such. Then one by one started to find their own quotations and stand at their own point of view.
This is when the plans gets worse, 3 weeks have been wasted on the selectin of packages yet none is selected as everyone has their own stand and opinion of packages. I missed one very important meeting where the PERSON began to alter the brains of the others saying that his package was cheap and such. At first glance it seemed acceptable.
But the details in it are not even finalized and blur. I decided to ask a number to find out furthur information regarding the package which he was introducing to us and also forcefully asking us to accept it and also hinting us in many ways that the packag is good. So, somehow his quotation about the package is not clear at all. They even called the agency before me as im not there to look around. So it turns out that the information they requested from the agency, they couldn't provide us with an answer. So i decided to call for the second time to dig furthur information and also the finalized price.
At first, the number given was a lady, i explained that im his student and i have some enquiries about the package. She didn't answer me at all and straight away asked me to dial another number to call another person in charged for furthur information. I called the other number. He picked up, and i started asking questions relating to this package of his.
Every question i ask, he would either say we will arrange on that or don't worry everything can be arranged and it's flexible. WHAT THE HELL? WHATS THE POINT OF CALLING YOU FOR AN ENQUIRY IF YOU CANT GIVE US A DEFINATE ANSWER ON THE PACKAGE THAT WE ARE ABOUT TO TAKE THAT WE HAVE NO CLUE WHAT IS IN IT AND WHAT IS OFFERING US. HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO PROMOTE OUR TRIP WHEN WE HAVE NO FKING INFORMATION ABOUT THE TRIP DETAILS. EVEN THE PRICES ARE NOT COFIRMED. HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO COME OUT WITH THE FINALIZED PRICE AND SUBMIT OUR PROROSAL FOR APPROVAL?!
I'm just fking pissed talking to the agency guy. He finally couldn't answer me and make up and excuse to say that he's driving and he'll call me 3 days after. HELLOOOOO? WE ARE SHORT O TIME AND WE NEED A DEFINATE ANSWER FROM YOU! WHAT THE HELL IS WITH THE DELAY? So i told him we are out of time and we need to fialize in 3 days time. He said okay and he would call on the next day in the morning.
So i waited. In the end he didn't call at all. So we had completely given up on him and just grab another package just to save our damned time waiting for that fked up agency that wasted a few weeks of our plans already. We got everything ready and we are now under the final phase to complete everything.
We meet up the tour guide asked some questions and we're so guilty for that which we are holding the reservation list eventhough its already over the final day of reservation the kind tour guide still holds it on for us. So we finally finalize up and about to tell that PERSON that we are not taking his package anymore and we are heading to another package. Before that, we are also having another problem. We only had one week left to find 30 people to join the trip. HOW THE HELL ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DIG OUT 30 PEOPLE TO JOIN THE TRIP IN SUCH A SHORT NOTICE?
So we are about to give up on the langkawi package already. We walked up to tell that PERSON about the cancelation of the package he offered. He started asking tonnes of questions and start to compare the package details already. We said since the agency never bother to call me, we didn't had much time so we just took another package and move on. He showed the frigging face to us and a disatisfaction aura.
By the way, in such a cheap package do you believe that we are actually goin to stay on a seperate island which is rated 4 stars and its inconvinient focus to do another. And the tours are not promising. Besides, i even asked the agency about the hotel details. They dare not even tell us about the details. I guess it's not that hotel anymore. And the person incharged is that PERSON'S FRIEND so i guess if he offer us this package most probably they will both gain commision or something.
Ok, so we told him that we are not taking his package, he is still bragging the benefits of his package until we dig out of an excuse on ditching him to continue our training class. So we went into class started thinking about the amount of time left and the people who are currently confirmed on joining the trip. Out of 14 written in the list, 5 on hold and 1 canceled and the pre-requisite is to have at least 10 of them confirmed and to pay the deposite of rm100 to get hold of the reservation. So after much thought, we decided to cancel it and thought up of a way to tell him that we're canceling the trip.
So the next day, which is today. We went and tell him about the cancelation of the package and also the trip to langkawi. The first thing he said was "It was your fault for delaying the trips and dunno find so many quotations and dragging the time" "I already came up with ym quotation last friday" HELLOO? WE ALREADY HAVE THIS QUOTATION 3 WEEKS AGO!! 3 WEEKS! YOURS IS LAST WEEK. US YOUR SENSE OF LOGIC AND TELL ME HOW MANY WEEK HAVE YOU BEEN DELAYING AND ALSO WHAT THE **** ARE YOU PUTTING ON THE BLAMEON ME WHEN IT'S PURELY YOUR FAULT FOR SAYING THAT "Oh we should find more quotations and compare the price before deciding" EXACTY WHO THE **** STARTED THAT TELL ME PLEASE.
After he insulted me, i felt pissed and just alked out of his office nd he continues his story again with his shitty packages and his bloody benefits. He is wasting unnecessary time and money just to find out more about the package when we are not interested in his at all in the first place and it's not clearly described. We are stessing on the point that we are canceling the trip and postpond it t other days but he interupted us and continue his ****ed up story about the benefits of his package and kept on saying that im wasting all our time and it's all my fault on it and he starts to push all the blames to the other one by one. WHAT THE ****! YOU ARE THE SOURCE OF EVERYTHING WHICH HAPPENED. YOU SHOULD JUST SHUT THE HELL UP AND ACCEPT THAT YOUR PACKAGE ISN'T CLEAR AND SATISFYING. WHY WITH THE CONSTANT TOPIC O THE ADVANTAGE OF YOUR PACKAGE? YOU WILL GET EXTRA COMMISION AND YOU WILL BENEFIT YOUR FRIEND ALSO IS IT? YOUR FRIGGING FRIEND DOESNT EVEN CALL ME WHICH HE WAS SUPPOSED TO. SO THAT MEANS HE HAS NO INTEREST ON DEALING A BUSNIESS WITH US AND HE IS NOT SERIOUS ABOUT IT.
We told him about the matter which he didnt call us in the first place and so we choosed another package and we didn't take yours. Then he said, why didn't you call him back. I wasn't there. I went out after i was blammed at and the others are all told by those who are inside listening to his lame stories which are practically pointless telling them over and over again. So they are speechless because they couldn't answer him why they didn't call the agency back (they = me) Then he blamed them as well for not calling the other lecturer to call the agency about this. HELLO? FIRST OF ALL, SHE HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS. SECOND OF ALL, HE SHOULD CALL US NOT US CALLING HIM AS WE'RE DOING AS BUSINESS WITH HIM. I ALREADY TOLD HIM WE DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME LEFT SO PLEASE MAKE IT FAST AND HE AGRED ON CALLING ME THE NEXT DAY AND HE DIDN'T SO IT'S HIS LOST FOR NOT CALLING US.
Overall he is not letting this trip to go away like this and he is still not done with his fked up stories and constantly bragging about it. Since he wanted to make this trip to be 'successful' so much i'll let him be. My friend (the president) said there will be another meeting for the trip date reallocation. I AM DEFINATELY NOT GOING TO THAT MEETING ANYMORE BEFORE HIS FKED UP MOUTH COME AND START AGAIN. BESIDES HE'S BEEN LIKE OBJECTNG EVERYTHING I SUGGESTED ALMOST EVERY MEETING AND MADE MY SUGGESTIONS LIKE JOKES EVENTHOUGH IM SO SERIOUS ABOUT CONTRIBTING THINGS INTO MY CLUB. HE IS ALSO THE ONE WHO JOKED AROUND NOT BEING SERIOUS IN THE MEETING LIKE HE IS ATTRACTING ATTENTION.
So.. Im fked up now and somehow im just feeling depressed about this matter. I wonder if he would just hold a grudge and just fail my papers and give me problems during his class. ou'll never know hat these kind of people could do. But definately one day when he does that i would definately argue with him.
Oh yea surprised with this colour? It's a combination of anger and sadness which clearly means red text + blue text = purple :D
That is all for today. I couldn't find a suitable person which is free to talk to again so blog is my best option geez.
♥ Silent Tears
What has been written ♥ ;
『3/24/2009 09:24:00 PM』
What has been written ♥ ;
『3/24/2009 09:24:00 PM』
Monday, March 23, 2009
Sometimes, the truth hurts, yet it's still the most efficient way to gain trust and also to clear doubts. Lies, there are two types: A white lie and a black lie. A white lie, is a lie which was made up because of something which is for the sake for being better or just for the better side of everything. A positive lie. A black lie however, is something which was made up on purpose to hide something which hey had done wrongly or something bad they have done. The more black lies there are, the worse it gets. A negative lie. It's a very bad practise to tell lies especially black lies. But both lies ends up in a bad conlusion. Exactly, what benefits do we get from lying? Please enlightened me with it. Personally, i hate lies. It hurts me alot for knowing the truth because of the lie.
Now i know why the girls called the guys 'hua xin' it stands for those playboys which doesn't appreciate what they have and asking for more. Eventhough they have a gf already, they are still out there flirting girls. And SURPRISINGLY, their gfs doesn' care about it? Some end up misnderstanding.. OR NOT.. broke up just because of this.. Wondering why are they not appreciating for what they have. Pathethic jerks.
By the way, that guy and his gf came over the problem and got back together. Damn, this phrase is really not usable anymore..
Now i know why the girls called the guys 'hua xin' it stands for those playboys which doesn't appreciate what they have and asking for more. Eventhough they have a gf already, they are still out there flirting girls. And SURPRISINGLY, their gfs doesn' care about it? Some end up misnderstanding.. OR NOT.. broke up just because of this.. Wondering why are they not appreciating for what they have. Pathethic jerks.
By the way, that guy and his gf came over the problem and got back together. Damn, this phrase is really not usable anymore..
♥ Silent Tears
What has been written ♥ ;
『3/23/2009 08:10:00 PM』
What has been written ♥ ;
『3/23/2009 08:10:00 PM』
Didnt blog for a few days, was kinda busy and tired too. Well, not really busy. :x Went out to walk around with my classmate grandma rachael~ She asked me out to walk with another friend of hers so i agreed and we went to times square and later on to petaling street.
Nothing much to take pictures~ It's a nice long way and a great day to have a walk like that but it's indeed tiring~ ! Overall thak you grandma rachael for asking me out and have a walk which i really hoped to travel to KL and have a walk.
P.S. it's my 3rd time going to times square and the 1st time to petaling street. Her friend was shocked after hearing that from me. I did some silly stuffz too.
~
People are just so weird. When there is a chance or an oportunity in front of them, they just take it for granted. When they lose it they will just simply emo about it and just take it as a very sad story and expect others to be pity on them. It's just a really silly plot to attract attention.
Now, i realised the term 'What goes around, comes around' is true. There's a classmate of mine which is oftenly boasting about his 2nd half and he's been talking non stop about her and 'lanci-ing' about it,today they finally broke up *Update* I spoke too soon =/ This is sooooo not the term anymore. It's just weird because, he's the first person i've ever seen boasting in front of others like that. It's like he wants the world to know he has a gf. I am not happy nor sad about it. It's just what i see from the term 'what goes around, comes around'.He was punished with that for doing nasty things in front of us. P.S. their relationship aren't even a month.*Update* *grumbles*
Love, what is the true meaning behind it? I've seen too many blind love. Some even just take love as a simple matter. They just get together and just break up after 2~3 weeks? Is love a game? I don't think so. It's just so painful to see a break up couple, where both of them are being emotionally depressive in each side. Especially both of them are my friends. Well, if one of them are doing it on purpose, then he / she is a real bastard.
Virtual love, too many of them. Yet some couldn't differ virtual and reality relationships. They just think that when it's the end in the virtual world, its the same in the real world as well. Virtual love is spoiling the real purpose of love. People are just taking advantage of it. Which makes the purpose of love losses its meaning already.
Don't you think you're just being too much by flirting on other girls and even tried to hang out with girls when you have a gf already? People like this is just pure bastards. They wouldn't appreciate on having one and when they eventually losses one, they will just grief and be sad about it over and over again. Then it'll be a part of his sad story and something to be proud of and just compare with the others and tell their tales of pride and even compare 'experiences'. Lame shit.
Sometimes i feel like blogging but it's just not convinient to do so. But some things which i really wanna tell sometimes i will just forgot about it. So, i will try my best to get a time and blog to write out all my feelings in me.
Exactly, what pride, gain or benefit do we actually get if we're good in games? I just don't get it. People are just griefing, being sad or embarrased over something which is actually POINTLESS
They'll just compare with the others and just brag and brag and brag. If others can do it, why not you? If you can't do it, work harder. If it's impossible, let it be. So what if they are better than us in certain parts of the game? It izn't a big deal when someone beats you in certain games and be proud of it. Those are pure bastards.We are much more focussing on life than just a mere game to compete with others for one reason or another. Besides! The real purpos for a game is just to enjoy and have fun. Not in this way, they just ruin the concept of a game.
People can be doing things which has no limitations sometimes, i was helping out a friend because i have a free time. It wasn't easy and it takes alot of time and also patience. After helping ones, she continued to ask me to help for a few times. I agreed because i was free. After not long later, she frequently came and ask for my help everyday and eventually expect me to help her when she askd me to. The only thing she has to say to me was the only sentence to instruct me to help her. Wasn't that too much? When i told her im not free and im busy or im sleeping early she just practically shows her temper to me. When i was late to help her or i need some time to finish my work, she just show her temper to me again. What the hell was that? When i asked her for her help, she just ges an excuse and chase me off. Eventually, now im just ignoring her as she is being too pushy.
There are just so many weird people around me, none of them are just good to me. Most of them are just playing weird or evil. That's normal for me already, there isn't anyone which are close to me to protect me from them or just being care about it. Most of them time i'll just either keep quiet, complain it to my friends (closest ones) and my brother or just throw it here.
Nothing much to take pictures~ It's a nice long way and a great day to have a walk like that but it's indeed tiring~ ! Overall thak you grandma rachael for asking me out and have a walk which i really hoped to travel to KL and have a walk.
P.S. it's my 3rd time going to times square and the 1st time to petaling street. Her friend was shocked after hearing that from me. I did some silly stuffz too.
~
People are just so weird. When there is a chance or an oportunity in front of them, they just take it for granted. When they lose it they will just simply emo about it and just take it as a very sad story and expect others to be pity on them. It's just a really silly plot to attract attention.
Now, i realised the term 'What goes around, comes around' is true. There's a classmate of mine which is oftenly boasting about his 2nd half and he's been talking non stop about her and 'lanci-ing' about it,
Love, what is the true meaning behind it? I've seen too many blind love. Some even just take love as a simple matter. They just get together and just break up after 2~3 weeks? Is love a game? I don't think so. It's just so painful to see a break up couple, where both of them are being emotionally depressive in each side. Especially both of them are my friends. Well, if one of them are doing it on purpose, then he / she is a real bastard.
Virtual love, too many of them. Yet some couldn't differ virtual and reality relationships. They just think that when it's the end in the virtual world, its the same in the real world as well. Virtual love is spoiling the real purpose of love. People are just taking advantage of it. Which makes the purpose of love losses its meaning already.
Don't you think you're just being too much by flirting on other girls and even tried to hang out with girls when you have a gf already? People like this is just pure bastards. They wouldn't appreciate on having one and when they eventually losses one, they will just grief and be sad about it over and over again. Then it'll be a part of his sad story and something to be proud of and just compare with the others and tell their tales of pride and even compare 'experiences'. Lame shit.
Sometimes i feel like blogging but it's just not convinient to do so. But some things which i really wanna tell sometimes i will just forgot about it. So, i will try my best to get a time and blog to write out all my feelings in me.
Exactly, what pride, gain or benefit do we actually get if we're good in games? I just don't get it. People are just griefing, being sad or embarrased over something which is actually POINTLESS
They'll just compare with the others and just brag and brag and brag. If others can do it, why not you? If you can't do it, work harder. If it's impossible, let it be. So what if they are better than us in certain parts of the game? It izn't a big deal when someone beats you in certain games and be proud of it. Those are pure bastards.We are much more focussing on life than just a mere game to compete with others for one reason or another. Besides! The real purpos for a game is just to enjoy and have fun. Not in this way, they just ruin the concept of a game.
People can be doing things which has no limitations sometimes, i was helping out a friend because i have a free time. It wasn't easy and it takes alot of time and also patience. After helping ones, she continued to ask me to help for a few times. I agreed because i was free. After not long later, she frequently came and ask for my help everyday and eventually expect me to help her when she askd me to. The only thing she has to say to me was the only sentence to instruct me to help her. Wasn't that too much? When i told her im not free and im busy or im sleeping early she just practically shows her temper to me. When i was late to help her or i need some time to finish my work, she just show her temper to me again. What the hell was that? When i asked her for her help, she just ges an excuse and chase me off. Eventually, now im just ignoring her as she is being too pushy.
There are just so many weird people around me, none of them are just good to me. Most of them are just playing weird or evil. That's normal for me already, there isn't anyone which are close to me to protect me from them or just being care about it. Most of them time i'll just either keep quiet, complain it to my friends (closest ones) and my brother or just throw it here.
Ignorance just annoys and somehow hurts me sometimes. I can't fnd out what's actually going on and sometimes there are too much of possibilities to it. Please, at least reply me something instead of ignoring me..
Sigh, i wonder how much of tears are going to be shed and also pressures o handle from the society which is waiting in front of me. I'm just not ready for it yet.
Well, that is all i could express today.
Ok la, i forgot to put in;
BRENDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
♥ Silent Tears
What has been written ♥ ;
『3/23/2009 05:51:00 PM』
What has been written ♥ ;
『3/23/2009 05:51:00 PM』
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Everytime i watch the drama. It just made me so sad andi cried everytime. Some just wished that they would live longer and not leaving the world at a young age as they had limited time to spend with their friends and family.
Everytime i watch the drama. Past memories would fleetingly come by and just make me cry. Endless tears of regret and sorrow would just suddenly come on to me. It's just weird.
Today, i just happened to talk about this issue with my mum. It's such a sad thing when my friends couldn't appreciate their lives the way it is. Most importantly i can see that the ones i care didn't really appreciate their lives.
My father's brother (uncle) had another accident this morning. He ate drugs and drive and he was involved in an accident. This is the 2nd time he is like this. Ever since he owns a pub. He always went out late and came back in the morning. He is so studborn and wouldn't listen to my father's or any relative's advise. He had another accident during the 2nd day of Chinese New Year early in the morning. It's just so sad. Soon, if he doesn't change.. his family would be broken due to several issues.. Sigh.. I care about him alot.
Most of the ones that i really care are just involving themselves into life threatening situations. It's just so sad to see them admitting to hospital or just getting injured. I really don't know what should i do. I couldn't help with anything.
Sometimes no matter how much i hate someone, i still care about them eventhough i really hate them at times. It's just how it is.
I'm always strong on words but im just having a weak heart. I don't know what's wrong with me but recently i had just changed. I realised it and even my friends said that to me. Wondering what is the factor causing it to make me so down and emotional. Well, blogging is still my best way and solution in bursting out everything.
I couldn't find anyone comfortable enough to talk with anymore. The only one also had his 2nd half of his life as he is also busy now and barely spend some time talking to me.
Well, i expected that to come one day. Trying to get back to my old self now. I hope everything turns out fine. =/
Updated my wishing well's list.
Everytime i watch the drama. Past memories would fleetingly come by and just make me cry. Endless tears of regret and sorrow would just suddenly come on to me. It's just weird.
Today, i just happened to talk about this issue with my mum. It's such a sad thing when my friends couldn't appreciate their lives the way it is. Most importantly i can see that the ones i care didn't really appreciate their lives.
My father's brother (uncle) had another accident this morning. He ate drugs and drive and he was involved in an accident. This is the 2nd time he is like this. Ever since he owns a pub. He always went out late and came back in the morning. He is so studborn and wouldn't listen to my father's or any relative's advise. He had another accident during the 2nd day of Chinese New Year early in the morning. It's just so sad. Soon, if he doesn't change.. his family would be broken due to several issues.. Sigh.. I care about him alot.
Most of the ones that i really care are just involving themselves into life threatening situations. It's just so sad to see them admitting to hospital or just getting injured. I really don't know what should i do. I couldn't help with anything.
Sometimes no matter how much i hate someone, i still care about them eventhough i really hate them at times. It's just how it is.
I'm always strong on words but im just having a weak heart. I don't know what's wrong with me but recently i had just changed. I realised it and even my friends said that to me. Wondering what is the factor causing it to make me so down and emotional. Well, blogging is still my best way and solution in bursting out everything.
I couldn't find anyone comfortable enough to talk with anymore. The only one also had his 2nd half of his life as he is also busy now and barely spend some time talking to me.
Well, i expected that to come one day. Trying to get back to my old self now. I hope everything turns out fine. =/
Updated my wishing well's list.
♥ Silent Tears
What has been written ♥ ;
『3/19/2009 07:07:00 PM』
What has been written ♥ ;
『3/19/2009 07:07:00 PM』
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Some words are not to be trusted. As they are just sweet words to please you. Some promises are not to be hoped on. Promises are meant to be broken. Some actions are not to be expected. As we cannot force someone to do something which they don't like or wish to do.
Placing too high hope on something is just meaningless sometimes. Because it might just be very depressive sometimes once something you've hoped on didn't happened or turns out to be worse.
Some incidents might just break my fragile heart even the closest ones will do that from time to time no matter how many hints have been made. They never realise. Countless times it has been told.
Histories are like a lesson for us not to repeat the same mistake ever again. But it izin't the same nowadays anymore. The mistakes will be carried foward and repeat it several times without actually even realising.
Define friendship.
Define brotherly and sisterly relationship.
Define family.
I really want to know how it actually works. Not as what i actually expect. 3 factors which are entirely affecting a part of my life.
Holding them tight hoping that they would be my life support on going on with everything without giving up. It seems that every single one of it is letting me down. Even at tough times non of them show up to show care and affection. Was hoping that they would realise the fact that its really a pain and i really need them there.
So, why not just stay stationary in a small box with only one person alone.
Emotionless is the best option so that it woldn't bother me from feeling anything.
Emptiness in my thoughts so that none of them haunt me in my dreams and hopes.
Remain a low profile just lt everything in.
Keeping quiet at all times.
Letting everything go.
Thats all i could say.
Placing too high hope on something is just meaningless sometimes. Because it might just be very depressive sometimes once something you've hoped on didn't happened or turns out to be worse.
Some incidents might just break my fragile heart even the closest ones will do that from time to time no matter how many hints have been made. They never realise. Countless times it has been told.
Histories are like a lesson for us not to repeat the same mistake ever again. But it izin't the same nowadays anymore. The mistakes will be carried foward and repeat it several times without actually even realising.
Define friendship.
Define brotherly and sisterly relationship.
Define family.
I really want to know how it actually works. Not as what i actually expect. 3 factors which are entirely affecting a part of my life.
Holding them tight hoping that they would be my life support on going on with everything without giving up. It seems that every single one of it is letting me down. Even at tough times non of them show up to show care and affection. Was hoping that they would realise the fact that its really a pain and i really need them there.
So, why not just stay stationary in a small box with only one person alone.
Emotionless is the best option so that it woldn't bother me from feeling anything.
Emptiness in my thoughts so that none of them haunt me in my dreams and hopes.
Remain a low profile just lt everything in.
Keeping quiet at all times.
Letting everything go.
Thats all i could say.
♥ Silent Tears
What has been written ♥ ;
『3/17/2009 02:43:00 PM』
What has been written ♥ ;
『3/17/2009 02:43:00 PM』
Monday, March 16, 2009
Don't know what have i really done today. Nothing much to talk about though.
Updated wishlist. Crossed out one wish and Accomplished one wish.
*Continues Pokemon* :x
Updated wishlist. Crossed out one wish and Accomplished one wish.
*Continues Pokemon* :x
♥ Silent Tears
What has been written ♥ ;
『3/16/2009 10:22:00 PM』
What has been written ♥ ;
『3/16/2009 10:22:00 PM』
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Why people are just so weird? The moment when you need them, they will always disappear. The moment where you really give up on them, they will just reappear and show affection and care on you. Then somehow, when you want to see or even talk to them, they will just disappear for days without replying to any ways of communications.
Hmm.. been really bored lately.. I can't meet up my x-classmates which they are just playing busy.. The others are having their final sem exams.. Eventually even if they are done.. There is nothing much to do to have fun together because they are just so picky in everything.. Owell..
Just starring at my monitor from day to night to pass my day. Just hoping the ones who i really want to talk o have attention on is here to accompany me.
Hectic at home, mum showing her temper for a few days, spreading all the possible nasty words which hurts my feelings and annoys me.. I had nowhere to run or nobody suitable enough to talk to about this. Eventhough they approach me on talking about this, they would'nt just understand me completely. Perhaps one person might understand.
I am SO complicated :)
May be blogging again later since im too free..
Hmm.. been really bored lately.. I can't meet up my x-classmates which they are just playing busy.. The others are having their final sem exams.. Eventually even if they are done.. There is nothing much to do to have fun together because they are just so picky in everything.. Owell..
Just starring at my monitor from day to night to pass my day. Just hoping the ones who i really want to talk o have attention on is here to accompany me.
Hectic at home, mum showing her temper for a few days, spreading all the possible nasty words which hurts my feelings and annoys me.. I had nowhere to run or nobody suitable enough to talk to about this. Eventhough they approach me on talking about this, they would'nt just understand me completely. Perhaps one person might understand.
I am SO complicated :)
May be blogging again later since im too free..
♥ Silent Tears
What has been written ♥ ;
『3/15/2009 11:26:00 AM』
What has been written ♥ ;
『3/15/2009 11:26:00 AM』
Friday, March 13, 2009
Hmm.. requested 2 pictures to be drawn by grandma Rachael..
Perfectly describes my condition and also my mood all the time and this is what i wished to do~
Thx Grandma Rachael
♥ Silent Tears
What has been written ♥ ;
『3/13/2009 02:52:00 PM』
What has been written ♥ ;
『3/13/2009 02:52:00 PM』
Holidays are here~ What are my plans? I don't have any~! Just rot at home! Don't have the mood for games! No friends to talk to! Sleep! Waiting for the SQL training to come to fill up my time slots and just get buzy eventhough i don't like it! Like i have other choice xD
I bet this sem break the others have alot of plans to hang out with friends and such~! If you ask me about my plans~ Don't bother! I don't have any xD
-Continues starring at the monitor-
I bet this sem break the others have alot of plans to hang out with friends and such~! If you ask me about my plans~ Don't bother! I don't have any xD
-Continues starring at the monitor-
♥ Silent Tears
What has been written ♥ ;
『3/13/2009 02:45:00 PM』
What has been written ♥ ;
『3/13/2009 02:45:00 PM』
Please tell me.. exactly how many lies are there hidden from me..? Are you the only one or all of them surrounding me are hiding lies from me...?
WHY? Why lies? I lay my trust on friendship and lies are just the outer surface which makes me think that they are being honest to me.. When i know it's a lie, i tried to test them and they are still trying to hide it from me..? Am i too easy to play with?
Lying to me.. i am the one should be in the angry state and you are already showing signs of being angry with me? What logic does that make..
Who else is going to lie to me next? the closest ones to me? The closest friends of mine? My closest loved ones?
I am seriously sad.. Which are true words which are not i don't even know.. Why? Because they are full of lies!
Should i just stay alone with no friends? Well.. practically i have very little and that portion of little is also betraying me by covering up lies in every sentence they say..
Is lying to others that fun? Is that a pleasure? I seriously hope u all would be honest with me..
It hurts when i found out it's a lie and the 'act of telling the truth' is still used when talking to me..
Life sucks..
WHY? Why lies? I lay my trust on friendship and lies are just the outer surface which makes me think that they are being honest to me.. When i know it's a lie, i tried to test them and they are still trying to hide it from me..? Am i too easy to play with?
Lying to me.. i am the one should be in the angry state and you are already showing signs of being angry with me? What logic does that make..
Who else is going to lie to me next? the closest ones to me? The closest friends of mine? My closest loved ones?
I am seriously sad.. Which are true words which are not i don't even know.. Why? Because they are full of lies!
Should i just stay alone with no friends? Well.. practically i have very little and that portion of little is also betraying me by covering up lies in every sentence they say..
Is lying to others that fun? Is that a pleasure? I seriously hope u all would be honest with me..
It hurts when i found out it's a lie and the 'act of telling the truth' is still used when talking to me..
Life sucks..
♥ Silent Tears
What has been written ♥ ;
『3/13/2009 12:32:00 AM』
What has been written ♥ ;
『3/13/2009 12:32:00 AM』
Thursday, March 12, 2009
My finals are finally over!! Although i didn't do really well.... = =lll
Got tagged by my brother;
Done this before and i redo it again and yet its the same results xP
Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.
The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?
Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.
What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.
Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.
Done! and they are soooo true xD
I've done a few more too!
Your Handwriting
You can be a secretive person. You like changes and are always wanting to try something new. You also like to think seriously and are cautious when it comes to making decisions. This can make you look more mature than your friends.
What is your favorite fruit? (Grapes)
You are vigorous yet gentle. You appear to be mysterious to those who don't know you very well because you don't often reveal your feelings. You like to socialize and are popular among your peers.
How well do you get along with others?
You truly believe in friendship. You get along well with others, and those who are around you are happy to be with you, too. You love to be surrounded by friends and you'll do anything you can to help them without expecting anything in return. When your friends are smiling, you're as happy as you can be.
What do your friends think of you?
You are popular. Your friends feel at ease when they are around you. You are cheerful and lovely. It's not surprising that you have many good friends. You always feel happy for others, not a glimpse of envy. This is your unique character. Keep up!
What kind of person are you?
Artistic, you love caring for others and this makes you a big sister/brother in other people's eyes. People will find it interesting and comfortable talking to you, and this enables you to gain their trust. This usually gives a good impression to those members of the opposite sex who are sentimental and younger than you.
Your emotional control rate?
Your emotional controlled rate: 53%
You know how to let your emotions show but you still find it difficult to do so as often as you should. You should be prepared to let your emotions out more often. When you feel sad let yourself cry, when you feel angry, let your anger show and when you feel happy allow a smile to cross your face. Allowing your emotions out in this way will do wonders to your physical and mental health.
Well i think that's all of it~!
The SPM results are out.. asked my former primary classmates.. They got great results.. except me.. My mum started again with the nags about my results being bad and such... Sigh i hate this.. = =
Got tagged by my brother;
Done this before and i redo it again and yet its the same results xP
Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.
The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?
Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.
What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.
Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.
Done! and they are soooo true xD
I've done a few more too!
Your Handwriting
You can be a secretive person. You like changes and are always wanting to try something new. You also like to think seriously and are cautious when it comes to making decisions. This can make you look more mature than your friends.
What is your favorite fruit? (Grapes)
You are vigorous yet gentle. You appear to be mysterious to those who don't know you very well because you don't often reveal your feelings. You like to socialize and are popular among your peers.
How well do you get along with others?
You truly believe in friendship. You get along well with others, and those who are around you are happy to be with you, too. You love to be surrounded by friends and you'll do anything you can to help them without expecting anything in return. When your friends are smiling, you're as happy as you can be.
What do your friends think of you?
You are popular. Your friends feel at ease when they are around you. You are cheerful and lovely. It's not surprising that you have many good friends. You always feel happy for others, not a glimpse of envy. This is your unique character. Keep up!
What kind of person are you?
Artistic, you love caring for others and this makes you a big sister/brother in other people's eyes. People will find it interesting and comfortable talking to you, and this enables you to gain their trust. This usually gives a good impression to those members of the opposite sex who are sentimental and younger than you.
Your emotional control rate?
Your emotional controlled rate: 53%
You know how to let your emotions show but you still find it difficult to do so as often as you should. You should be prepared to let your emotions out more often. When you feel sad let yourself cry, when you feel angry, let your anger show and when you feel happy allow a smile to cross your face. Allowing your emotions out in this way will do wonders to your physical and mental health.
Well i think that's all of it~!
The SPM results are out.. asked my former primary classmates.. They got great results.. except me.. My mum started again with the nags about my results being bad and such... Sigh i hate this.. = =
♥ Silent Tears
What has been written ♥ ;
『3/12/2009 07:56:00 PM』
What has been written ♥ ;
『3/12/2009 07:56:00 PM』
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Should i just give it up..? Should i...? After yesterday's incident it really shatter my heart into dust.. What should i do..? Why is my heart feeling funny...? Is that called pain? ;/
Used the whole day thiking about this matter.. Everytime i think about it.. Tears start to fall.. Consulted a few friends.. They asked me to do the same.. But a part of me still don't feel like leting it go.. What should i do..? The pain is just unbareable...
Used the whole day thiking about this matter.. Everytime i think about it.. Tears start to fall.. Consulted a few friends.. They asked me to do the same.. But a part of me still don't feel like leting it go.. What should i do..? The pain is just unbareable...
Should i wait...? Continue to wait until someday when it is realised...?
How long can i stand the pain?
What should i do..?
Sigh...
♥ Silent Tears
What has been written ♥ ;
『3/07/2009 08:57:00 PM』
What has been written ♥ ;
『3/07/2009 08:57:00 PM』
Friday, March 6, 2009
Talked with my mei today~ It was a long satisfying talk~ Eventually i found out that.. There are some things which really shatter my heart into pieces and blown away like dust..
It appears that certain things in front of me aren't the same with those behind me it's different. Is this another treatment which i am about to receive after escaping such incidents to ever occur again?
Am i just being entertained? Am i being entertained for the sake of something? Am i being entertained because they felt sorry for me? I just want to be accepted as the true me..
Am i too good to be used on? My old habit is back again~! Putting other priorities at the top and mine at the last which is really causing me pain.. Maybe it's because i REALLY care for them! I don't really care whether im appreciated or not.. What i relly care is to accept me for who i am thats all. Why cover everything up with lies?
Lying to cover up things i front of me is really a pain for me.. I am seriously suffering from that.. A direct sentence to express disatisfaction on me would be WAY better than just using lies as a cover.. Which is a lie which is not? This is a sudden question after today's conversation with my mei.. The same fear is back whether to trust or not to..
All i demand was very simple.. Isn't that too hard to do? Sigh.. I really don't know what should i do.. I wonder when will they wake up.. Or perhaps they will not? Should i let go..? Should i just close both eyes? I don't know how long will my fragile heart last..
Asking others for a little favour is EXTREMELY PAIN but if it is the other way it was taken for granted.. and im still waiting for those words spoken out to come true.. I really hope that those words will really taken as action.. If those are taken as action perhaps i would be much more happier than before.. Or they are also as an excuse just to entertain me only or just to stop me from talking / bothering? I don't know..
But one thing i know.. Everything from last time till now has changed.. It is completely changed.. The change is so drastic it is so obvious and also painful to me.. Everything is just isn't the same anymore.. Why? Because i can see clearly and also evidence to compare both incidents..
These problems are one of the biggest stress affecting me aside from study issues, family issues and also health issues..
Wonder when will i just give up and just have an empty brain with no thoughts and also no worries..
Might as well just re-roll my brain back to those happy days of mine instead being here..
When i found out about this.. there is no way im going to recover from my sickness i bet it'll just gets worse =]
All i have to say is just.. WAKE UP!!! I CARE!!
It appears that certain things in front of me aren't the same with those behind me it's different. Is this another treatment which i am about to receive after escaping such incidents to ever occur again?
Am i just being entertained? Am i being entertained for the sake of something? Am i being entertained because they felt sorry for me? I just want to be accepted as the true me..
Am i too good to be used on? My old habit is back again~! Putting other priorities at the top and mine at the last which is really causing me pain.. Maybe it's because i REALLY care for them! I don't really care whether im appreciated or not.. What i relly care is to accept me for who i am thats all. Why cover everything up with lies?
Lying to cover up things i front of me is really a pain for me.. I am seriously suffering from that.. A direct sentence to express disatisfaction on me would be WAY better than just using lies as a cover.. Which is a lie which is not? This is a sudden question after today's conversation with my mei.. The same fear is back whether to trust or not to..
All i demand was very simple.. Isn't that too hard to do? Sigh.. I really don't know what should i do.. I wonder when will they wake up.. Or perhaps they will not? Should i let go..? Should i just close both eyes? I don't know how long will my fragile heart last..
Asking others for a little favour is EXTREMELY PAIN but if it is the other way it was taken for granted.. and im still waiting for those words spoken out to come true.. I really hope that those words will really taken as action.. If those are taken as action perhaps i would be much more happier than before.. Or they are also as an excuse just to entertain me only or just to stop me from talking / bothering? I don't know..
But one thing i know.. Everything from last time till now has changed.. It is completely changed.. The change is so drastic it is so obvious and also painful to me.. Everything is just isn't the same anymore.. Why? Because i can see clearly and also evidence to compare both incidents..
These problems are one of the biggest stress affecting me aside from study issues, family issues and also health issues..
Wonder when will i just give up and just have an empty brain with no thoughts and also no worries..
Might as well just re-roll my brain back to those happy days of mine instead being here..
When i found out about this.. there is no way im going to recover from my sickness i bet it'll just gets worse =]
All i have to say is just.. WAKE UP!!! I CARE!!
♥ Silent Tears
What has been written ♥ ;
『3/06/2009 11:51:00 PM』
What has been written ♥ ;
『3/06/2009 11:51:00 PM』
Ah~ My 1st burden has been lifted~ 2 tests and 1 assignment down 2 final papers to go!
My sickness is getting bad to worse! and my finals is like 3 days away.. zzz.. Having a very heavy headache and also a very bad flu.. I'm also sleepy =.=ll
Every now and then i will suddenly felt the loneliness and the sadness for one reason or another..
Looking at a group of friends hanging out together~ Oh how much fun could that be? I would not know much~ Those are RARE chances i would actually go out with them last time and currently~ I was always left out last time =/
Looking at 2 brothers really care about each other and hanging out often too~ How nice would it be for me? I wouldn't know either~
Looking at pictures of a family going out for trips or having fun~ How fun can it be for me? It is fun but it seems to be slowly fading away~
Maybe im fated to be lost~ Alone in the darkness forever~ :)
Haiz its the same question im trying to ask everyday~
When was the last time since i enjoyed life?
When will my sadness and sorrow end?
Well.. who knows =/
My sickness is getting bad to worse! and my finals is like 3 days away.. zzz.. Having a very heavy headache and also a very bad flu.. I'm also sleepy =.=ll
Every now and then i will suddenly felt the loneliness and the sadness for one reason or another..
Looking at a group of friends hanging out together~ Oh how much fun could that be? I would not know much~ Those are RARE chances i would actually go out with them last time and currently~ I was always left out last time =/
Looking at 2 brothers really care about each other and hanging out often too~ How nice would it be for me? I wouldn't know either~
Looking at pictures of a family going out for trips or having fun~ How fun can it be for me? It is fun but it seems to be slowly fading away~
Maybe im fated to be lost~ Alone in the darkness forever~ :)
Haiz its the same question im trying to ask everyday~
When was the last time since i enjoyed life?
When will my sadness and sorrow end?
Well.. who knows =/
♥ Silent Tears
What has been written ♥ ;
『3/06/2009 07:06:00 PM』
What has been written ♥ ;
『3/06/2009 07:06:00 PM』
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Attempted a quiz which i peeked into my former classmate's blog~ (:
Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.
The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?
Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.
What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.
Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.
Haha.. so true >.>
♥ Silent Tears
What has been written ♥ ;
『3/05/2009 10:27:00 PM』
What has been written ♥ ;
『3/05/2009 10:27:00 PM』
Sigh.. sometimes i really hate going home.. Everytime i step into the house.. there MUST be an arguement out of unnecessary things.. It's so stressful.. I really hate it.. I really don't have a single place to actually relax not even my own home.. My mum and dad would just normally start the fire out of unknown reasons.. I would just feel like running out of my house sometimes and just be alone somewhere..
I just step into the house everyday and get blames and arguements and just nobody which i really want to talk to is free.. So! the best solution is to keep quiet and throw it into my "unlimited space" of heart where there is always a place to throw such sorrow and sadness in and lock it there forever~
I'm the only one who is having this crap! Unlike my sis.. she was always praised and they never tried to start anything with her.. It is just isn't fair.. Life for me isn't fair..
Who knows~! I might go insane one day~
I just step into the house everyday and get blames and arguements and just nobody which i really want to talk to is free.. So! the best solution is to keep quiet and throw it into my "unlimited space" of heart where there is always a place to throw such sorrow and sadness in and lock it there forever~
I'm the only one who is having this crap! Unlike my sis.. she was always praised and they never tried to start anything with her.. It is just isn't fair.. Life for me isn't fair..
Who knows~! I might go insane one day~
♥ Silent Tears
What has been written ♥ ;
『3/05/2009 07:07:00 PM』
What has been written ♥ ;
『3/05/2009 07:07:00 PM』
Some things arent not meant to say until they realise it. It works all the time. Until then they would actually regret or realise what they had actually done besides constantly giving hints or clues to reveal what they are actually doing wrong or what they are actually not supposed to do..
So, just be more aware of the things they do.. When will they actually 'wake up'? =/
No matter how hard i try, i will still be blammed.. Why they just don't understand that im trying hard? Sigh.. I am just speechless...
So, just be more aware of the things they do.. When will they actually 'wake up'? =/
No matter how hard i try, i will still be blammed.. Why they just don't understand that im trying hard? Sigh.. I am just speechless...
I am finally sick and i would definately be scolded again~ I just hope i'll just collapse or just faint where nobody would actually even notice or care~
I wonder how long i can hold on to it...
I wonder when will my sadness and sorrow would eventually end~ I am really looking foward till the day it comes.
Time to lock it safely in my fragile heart again~ (:
♥ Silent Tears
What has been written ♥ ;
『3/05/2009 06:03:00 PM』
What has been written ♥ ;
『3/05/2009 06:03:00 PM』
Hmm.. assignment due tommorow~ i haven't start o_O Next week tuesday and wednesday my finals and i havent even really revised! I'm DOOMED xD Ah well~ Nobody cares about me! =x
Will be blogging later on after class~
Will be blogging later on after class~
♥ Silent Tears
What has been written ♥ ;
『3/05/2009 08:33:00 AM』
What has been written ♥ ;
『3/05/2009 08:33:00 AM』
Things are getting back to normal but something had changed.. It's not the usual but i wouldn't want to bother much about it although we communicate way lesser now.. I hope it'll be completely fine or it'll continue furthur on as i expect it would be =D
Life goes on, places change, people change too! Sometimes i just have to go on with it no matter how much i need someone =) Promises are meant to be forgotten~ Everyone will also eventually forgets the rest when they have their second half in their lives or even something that would occupy their minds =D The rate of attention towards the target was 100% until external factors affects it and sooner or later it will eventually becomes 0% It's just the same treatment as my friends gave it to me and now it's the same for the others! :) I guess thats life!
Looking foward to the day it happens! It's happy for one side and also sad that was forgotten and lonely in the other~
Life goes on, places change, people change too! Sometimes i just have to go on with it no matter how much i need someone =) Promises are meant to be forgotten~ Everyone will also eventually forgets the rest when they have their second half in their lives or even something that would occupy their minds =D The rate of attention towards the target was 100% until external factors affects it and sooner or later it will eventually becomes 0% It's just the same treatment as my friends gave it to me and now it's the same for the others! :) I guess thats life!
Looking foward to the day it happens! It's happy for one side and also sad that was forgotten and lonely in the other~
♥ Silent Tears
What has been written ♥ ;
『3/05/2009 12:37:00 AM』
What has been written ♥ ;
『3/05/2009 12:37:00 AM』
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
As expected.. i couldn't sleep at all.. T____T I will not forgive myself.. Seeking for forgiveness... I just want to be like last time T______T Sigh.. ...
♥ Silent Tears
What has been written ♥ ;
『3/04/2009 10:48:00 AM』
What has been written ♥ ;
『3/04/2009 10:48:00 AM』
Sigh... I just screw up something.. I shouldn't have asked.. It's all because im too sensitive.. Now i've done it.. I made my brother emo because of something i asked..
Im so sorry kor, it's all my fault for asking.. I promise i will not bother you anymore...
I'm feeling very bad now.. It's a very difficult to explain how am i feeling exactly now.. Not sure if i can sleep tonight.. Sigh.. ....
Im so sorry kor, it's all my fault for asking.. I promise i will not bother you anymore...
I'm feeling very bad now.. It's a very difficult to explain how am i feeling exactly now.. Not sure if i can sleep tonight.. Sigh.. ....
♥ Silent Tears
What has been written ♥ ;
『3/04/2009 12:36:00 AM』
What has been written ♥ ;
『3/04/2009 12:36:00 AM』
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
My mum was talking to her 'kai ma', foster mum about our bitter past when we were in our grandmother's house living with a pschotic aunty of mine which anyhow gets us in trouble and even called us strangers.. When i flash back on those days.. My mum, dad and uncle really suffered a terrible strech of days for 2 years.. I was accused for something which i have not done.. but yet i was still blammed and scolded for no reason at all because of that particular aunty's words. Her life is full of sin.. So is her husband which is another uncle which i hate.. He always looks down on me and also thinks that my mum never educate me well.. So.. the past 2 years with them.. is really a torture..
Then my mum mentioned about my dad which was going to pension soon.. exactly 3 years from now.. She was going to be so worried how would it be then when i don't have enough income to furthur my studies and my sis which is still in school.. He wanted to work as a security guard to earn for a living.. but he simply doesn't have the stamina to do so and it's dangerous to be a security guard as anything might just happen.. He wanted to be a school van driver.. but his eye wouldn't allow him to do so.. The only hope left is on me.. which is to study harder and then get a job and earn for a living for the family..
However.. I couldn't really show that i can do it.. Too many things for me to handle.. My parents would use me to compare with the others which could really take care of the family.. but i felt that im really useless.. I've been trying very hard to study.. I still remember last time.. I studied so hard for my Physics test.. Yet, after getting my paper.. i collapsed and cried in front of the class.. I just felt very sad after how many times i've tried yet i still failed.. So.. my SPM results arent any better.. my mum will always envy with those who can really excel.. but not her own son.. I'm also trying really hard to maintain my scholarships.. I've sacrifised alot for that as well.. I even nearlly stopped all the games i've played now and only concentrate on books.. Yet a part of me still felt very sad.. Sigh..
My mum always say.. Someday we will live happily and easily without financial worries.. I am looking foward to the day it comes and my parents are still alive and healthy ;/...
Then my mum mentioned about my dad which was going to pension soon.. exactly 3 years from now.. She was going to be so worried how would it be then when i don't have enough income to furthur my studies and my sis which is still in school.. He wanted to work as a security guard to earn for a living.. but he simply doesn't have the stamina to do so and it's dangerous to be a security guard as anything might just happen.. He wanted to be a school van driver.. but his eye wouldn't allow him to do so.. The only hope left is on me.. which is to study harder and then get a job and earn for a living for the family..
However.. I couldn't really show that i can do it.. Too many things for me to handle.. My parents would use me to compare with the others which could really take care of the family.. but i felt that im really useless.. I've been trying very hard to study.. I still remember last time.. I studied so hard for my Physics test.. Yet, after getting my paper.. i collapsed and cried in front of the class.. I just felt very sad after how many times i've tried yet i still failed.. So.. my SPM results arent any better.. my mum will always envy with those who can really excel.. but not her own son.. I'm also trying really hard to maintain my scholarships.. I've sacrifised alot for that as well.. I even nearlly stopped all the games i've played now and only concentrate on books.. Yet a part of me still felt very sad.. Sigh..
My mum always say.. Someday we will live happily and easily without financial worries.. I am looking foward to the day it comes and my parents are still alive and healthy ;/...
♥ Silent Tears
What has been written ♥ ;
『3/03/2009 12:51:00 PM』
What has been written ♥ ;
『3/03/2009 12:51:00 PM』
I made up my mind~ I've decided not to bother that particular person anymore.. Unless that particular person pms me or talks to me~ Then again.. keeping everything to myself sometimes is still the best option though since im so used to it already =]
Watched a drama yesterday there's a sentence saying "Wild rabbits don't like to be in the crowd, they are meant to be alone. If there are others surrounding them they will feel pressured. It reflects just like a person's personality." It somehow sounds similar to me o_O"
Watched a drama yesterday there's a sentence saying "Wild rabbits don't like to be in the crowd, they are meant to be alone. If there are others surrounding them they will feel pressured. It reflects just like a person's personality." It somehow sounds similar to me o_O"
♥ Silent Tears
What has been written ♥ ;
『3/03/2009 12:33:00 PM』
What has been written ♥ ;
『3/03/2009 12:33:00 PM』
Have i done something wrong, did i say anything wrong? Am i really annoying? Why asking such questions to me.. It's like im controlling over someone... Which also made me feel bad.. Sigh.. What should i do or say...
♥ Silent Tears
What has been written ♥ ;
『3/03/2009 12:53:00 AM』
What has been written ♥ ;
『3/03/2009 12:53:00 AM』
Monday, March 2, 2009
Some things no matter how hard i try.. i wouldn't get it happen or get it done. No matter how hard i go for it.. it still doesnt give a responce~ Some things which i really tried to change and in the end i couldn't change it.. Is it really impossible to change someone? I wonder.. am i really doing the right thing? Felt like sobbing.. but i couldn't let it out.. Perhaps a sad drama would make me sob and i might feel abit better =] Endless thoughts of confusion..
♥ Silent Tears
What has been written ♥ ;
『3/02/2009 11:12:00 PM』
What has been written ♥ ;
『3/02/2009 11:12:00 PM』
Sigh.. everything seems weird to me now~ Somehow i felt the difference in something already~ I expected that would have happened ^^ Wondering when will it be as usual again~ Well, maybe i should let go or just don't bother about it or just wait? Sudden stuffz that are happening or they are just playing a prank on me o_O endless things to discover.. Maybe im just too sleepy and thinking too much~!
Since i had nothing better to do and people are not responding to me or replying me.. I think i should just go to bed ^^
Since i had nothing better to do and people are not responding to me or replying me.. I think i should just go to bed ^^
♥ Silent Tears
What has been written ♥ ;
『3/02/2009 10:24:00 PM』
What has been written ♥ ;
『3/02/2009 10:24:00 PM』