Wish upon a star ★

Music Box ♥

Gratitudes ♥

• It's the only source where i get to talk alot to my virtual friends and also real life friends
• It's the only source which i can pour out my feelings, even so, blogging here is still the best because nobody really give a damn for what i say
• It's the only time where i can really open up where nobody knows who i am or i can talk without feeling shy or afraid of things
• It's the only way i can actually open up

My father is just making up an argument from just a very small matter. No matter how the condition is he will not tolerate with me or any other members. Let me briefly describe what does he usually do;

• He is hot tempered so he gets angry easily and start to scold me
• He likes to do things straight away no delays when you delay he will scold me with harsh words
• Always like to use the words crazy
• He likes to end things that really pisses me off
• For example; switching off my main computer switch causing a massive lost of data or just plugs out my modem or many other actions he took
• Small matters are made big matters as if it's so bad
• Likes to describe things which are so minor its actually not necessary but he said as if its really bad
• Likes to make assumptions and accuse me for what i have not done

Sigh its really a mental torture for me to say it this way everyday everytime. It is also damn embarrassing especially when he does that in public. I would probably argue with him at least once in a day more than 10 times in a week. Sometimes i just wish to run out of the house and go somewhere peaceful or just attend class or mix with friends or just pretend to entertain myself.

Sometimes i just purposely dig out some topics to talk to someone even though there's really nothing to talk about because im really bored. I sometimes felt like i am a parasite to my friends and tend to annoy them until they really dont want to talk to me or just plain ignoring me.

Will my efforts to make my friends happy rewarding or they are just using me in some way that benefits them. I dont know what i should write here already. It's just too messy in my mind now and i couldnt even find a suitable company to talk to sigh..

I will not be here tommorow and the next day as well. I would be somewhere where there are waves and sunrises or as sunsets to watch. It's time for me to take a break from all this crap.

Farewell guys~