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Seasons of emotions

Emo-ish blog posts are normally blue
Happy blog posts are normally green
Angry or disatisfaction blog posts are normally red
Yellow blog posts are normally made as notices or notes or quotes
*Effective from 6th February '09 onwards

The loner

Name » Alex
Age » 19 ('10)
Status » Single
Gender » Male ♂
Birth Date » 20 / 07 / 91
Constellation » Cancer
Chinese Zodiac » Goat

Wish upon a star

[ ] A joyful life
[ ] Stop being moody
[ ] A better appearance
[ ] Excel in my studies
[ ] Life would be meaningful
[ ] Lead a better life
[ ] Wouldn't be lonely

Music Box

Pour it out


Maple Sis
Babeh Frances
Hong Yee Coldy
Aqua Toi Toi
Grandma Rachael
Miss Cheah

Faded Memories

January 2008
February 2008
April 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
November 2009
December 2009
January 2010
April 2010
June 2010
February 2012



Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Hwa Chian uses judgment to make decisions. He is ruled by his head, not his heart. He is a cool, collected person who is usually unexpressive emotionally. Some may see him as unemotional. He does have emotions but has no need to express them. He is withdrawn into himself and enjoys being alone.

The circumstances when Hwa Chian does express emotions include: extreme anger, extreme passion, and tremendous stress. If someone gets him mad enough to tell him off, he will not be sorry about it later. He puts a mark in his mind when someone angers him. He keeps track of these marks and when he hits that last mark he will let them know they have gone too far. He is ruled somewhat by self-interest. All his conclusions are made without outside emotional influence. He is very level-headed and will remain calm in an emergency situation. In a situation where other people might get hysterical, he has poise.

Hwa Chian will work more efficiently if given space and time to be alone. He would rather not be surrounded by people constantly. In a relationship, he will show his love by the things he does rather than by the things he says. Saying "I love you" is not a needed routine because he feels his mate should already know. The only exception to this is if he has logically concluded that it is best for his mate to hear him express his love verbally.

Hwa Chian is not subject to emotional appeals. If someone is selling a product to him, they will need to present only the facts. They should present them from a standpoint of his sound judgment. He will not be taken in by an emotional story about someone else. He will meet emergencies without getting hysterical and he will always ask "Is this best for me?"

Hwa Chian tends to write a bit smaller than the average person. When a person's letters are small and tiny, this indicates an ability to focus and concentrate. This character trait is a huge asset in careers like math, science, race car driving, and flying planes. However, if Hwa Chian writes tiny all of the time, he will also display characteristics of someone who is socially introverted. Hwa Chian will often sit on the sideline and watch others get the attention at parties. he might be willing to open up and be warm, but only in small groups or a select group of people. When he is busy working on a project, it is common for all other noises and distractions to just fade away and his ability to focus is incredible. When he says "he didn't hear you", he really means, he didn't hear you.

Hwa Chian will demand respect and will expect others to treat him with honor and dignity. Hwa Chian believes in his ideas and will expect other people to also respect them. He has a lot of pride.

Hwa Chian is not facing something going on in his life today. He is deceiving himself about it. Often, Hwa Chian's opinion of himself is different than those around him. This trait gives Hwa Chian the ability to deny anything that does not agree with his "truth." This trait is not always something negative. It is only a defense mechanism allowing Hwa Chian not to face some reality in his life at this time.

According to the inputted data, Hwa Chian has a stinger shape inside the oval of his a, d, or c. This might be hard to visualize, but if this little hooklike shape is present, then Hwa Chian has an unresolved "issue" with strong members of the opposite gender. An occasional appearance of this stroke could indicate a simple "loves a mental challenge" which can manifest in playful linguistic conversations and being attracted to a lover who isn't always available. However, if the stroke is severe, this means the individual has unresolved anger at the oppostive gender - which usually started with the person's childhood relationship with the opposite gender parent (Mom or Dad). If the writer is a woman she will be attracted to strong challenging men. If the writer is a man, he will find the woman who is "hard to get" the most attractive. In a nutshell, people with stingers in their writing tend to have challenges in their romantic relationships.

For more information about this "stinger" trait, visit this webpage. Remember, it is only negative if the traits occurs often and is quite pronounced. An occasional stinger can be no problem.

Hwa Chian can be defiant. He sometimes has the attitude that if someone doesn't like it the way he is doing it, then they can just "go to hell!" This trait may reveal itself in a rebellious nature that is always ready to resist forces which he thinks are infringing upon his freedom of action.

In reference to Hwa Chian's mental abilities, he has a very investigating and creating mind. He investigates projects rapidly because he is curious about many things. He gets involved in many projects that seem good at the beginning, but he soon must slow down and look at all the angles. He probably gets too many things going at once. When Hwa Chian slows down, then he becomes more creative than before. Since it takes time to be creative, he must slow down to do it. He then decides what projects he has time to finish. Thus he finishes at a slower pace than when he started the project.

He has the best of two kinds of minds. One is the quick investigating mind. The other is the creative mind. His mind thinks quick and rapidly in the investigative mode. He can learn quicker, investigate more, and think faster. Hwa Chian can then switch into his low gear. When he is in the slower mode, he can be creative, remember longer and stack facts in a logical manner. He is more logical this way and can climb mental mountains with a much better grip.

Hwa Chian's true self-image is unreasonably low. Someone once told Hwa Chian that he wasn't a great and beautiful person, and he believed them. Hwa Chian also has a fear that he might fail if he takes large risks. Therefore he resists setting his goals too high, risking failure. He doesn't have the internal confidence that frees him to take risks and chance failure. Hwa Chian is capable of accomplishing much more than he is presently achieving. All this relates to his self-esteem. Hwa Chian's self-concept is artificially low. Hwa Chian will stay in a bad situation much too long... why? Because he is afraid that if he makes a change, it might get worse. It is hard for Hwa Chian to plan too far into the future. He kind of takes things on a day to day basis. He may tell you his dreams but he is living in today, with a fear of making a change. No matter how loud he speaks, look at his actions. This is perhaps the biggest single barrier to happiness people not believing in and loving themselves. Hwa Chian is an example of someone living with a low self-image, because their innate self-confidence was broken.

Hwa Chian has a healthy imagination and displays a fair amount of trust. He lets new people into his circle of friends. He uses his imagination to understand new ideas, things, and people.

Hwa Chian exaggerates about everything that has a physical nature. Although he may not intend to deceive or mislead, he blows things way out of proportion because that is the way he views them. He will be a good story teller. This exaggeration relates to all areas of his material world. Hwa Chian allows many people into his life because he is accepting and trusting. He is sometimes called gullible by his friends. That only really means that he trusts too many people. Hwa Chian has a vivid imagination.

For a graphologist, the spacing on the page reflects the writer's attitude toward their own world and relationship to things in his or her own space. If the inputted data was correct Hwa Chian has no white space or margins on a typical sheet of paper. Hwa Chian fills up every last inch on the top, right, left, and bottom. Hmmm. If this is true, then Hwa Chian has a very aggressive personality toward others and quite frankly lacks a bit of respect for the space and property of other people. I would be surprised if Hwa Chian just comes into someone's home and helps himself to a drink in the refrigerator. This can be both an obnoxious personality trait and it can be assertive and effective in getting what you want. There isn't much fear of getting in trouble here, Hwa Chian finds plenty of reasons to break the rules and get in trouble. (Okay, perhaps when he was younger, not anymore?) Basically, people with no margins are a handful.

Silent Tears
What has been written ;
『2/29/2012 07:07:00 PM』

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Time goes by day by day, Everything around us do change, even a speck of dusk would be blown away from where it used to be. Its a good thing as a treatment for sad things but it is not a very good way to handle happy occasions. As I've learned in my moral lessons, good and bad things doesn't last for a long period of time. You cannot be happy all the time which also means that you cannot be sad all the time.

Now that the others realized that i often express my emotions publicly, i have a new nick for "Emo zai" As it is meant for me being an emo freak. Being sensitive is one thing, probably i am not mentally matured at times. I do take things too seriously.

Still, spamming my facebook wall isn't a solution. Also ranting in skype and EXPECT others to be a little considerate to listen to you isn't working as well. Blogging would be a perfect place to rant instead of bugging others with my personal matters.

Simple to say, as time passes by, things change, people change. They aren't they used to be anymore. :)

Silent Tears
What has been written ;
『6/09/2010 12:45:00 AM』

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Whatever happened to the homey feelings when you are away from home?
What is the root of all the worries?
All the frustration?

Counting the sleepless nights.

2 weeks to survive the war.

Will i lose in the war?

Silent Tears
What has been written ;
『4/14/2010 12:41:00 AM』

Monday, April 5, 2010

Today is another day where i have no one to talk to. Nobody to answer my needs to have a conversation. Needs to let it out. Of course, i need a suitable person which would really make me feel comfortable instead of just giving me either "..." or silent response.

Though i don't want to be so dependent on others, sometimes i really do need them badly. Or.. perhaps assignment pressure is getting into me with the lack of sleep which makes me feeling moody and down.

Bah.. i do whine like a girl but that's my nature of letting things out.

Silent Tears
What has been written ;
『4/05/2010 12:14:00 AM』

Friday, April 2, 2010

Everyone as i know would at least have a wish list and / or a TO DO list and i am listing one myself to do this year. A list of changes are to be made as follows:

  1. Control my emotions efficiently and effectively.
  2. Try not to complain like nobody's business.
  3. Always lit my face with a smile.
  4. Needs a time management on my external and internal work.
  5. Trying to be quiet at all times to keep a low profile.
These are all the major faults which i am about to change with time for a better me. Didn't expect that people just don't tell me on my face instead telling all my bad points behind my backs. Never mind! i get to learn from there. Improvise and improvise. Tomorrow's me will be a better me than yesterday! =)

Silent Tears
What has been written ;
『4/02/2010 10:26:00 AM』

Friday, January 15, 2010

All good and bad things come to an end. Every happy and sad moment come and go everytime. Though sometimes it feels lonely to share the joy with no one and to talk to someone i want to talk to. It feels terrible. Although im glad that i have my college mates to spend time with them. Somehow i felt sad that we are all going at our seperate ways very soon. Sometimes i just cant let go of things. Things and moments which i treasure the most.

There are so many phases of life.
The phase of life where there are always school friends.
The phase where we have to leave and go our seperate ways.
The phase where we enter into a new environment either with or without a company.
The phase where we take seperate paths again and enter the working environment.
The phase where they are tied up to someone and has commitments which we couldn't do the things we used to do anymore.
The phase which we become old.
The phase where we pass our final lives.
The phase where we leave the world.

Sometimes the world is so cruel, ending things in such a way that i don't want to let it go..
Bearing the sack of emotions keeping it hidden from everyone.
I really missed the old times. I really am..

Silent Tears
What has been written ;
『1/15/2010 11:47:00 PM』

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Needs to stop this childish attitude of mine being so persistent on something. Else this would cause alot of arguements in near future or now itself. Tolerate, keeping quiet and think before i speak. I am clearly showing my friends the other side of being being so childish in a way of giving opinions and thoughts. All of this must go. Today itself.


Silent Tears
What has been written ;
『12/09/2009 11:47:00 PM』